dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
