I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
My apartment stinks of burning failure
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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