so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
