I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Found the puke drawer
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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