Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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