Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
