Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
