surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize