Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
