I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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