my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
worst night to have a conscience
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
