Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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