He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
