Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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