Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
