I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I need a hoe opinion
go on
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
