he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
