i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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