i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
