Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Shame - the story of my life.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
