thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
