Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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