i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
