You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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