Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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