rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
