Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Come share oat with me in your robe
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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