My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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