Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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