You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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