Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Life is so much better after having sex.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
