ugly people sure do ruin things
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize