Your tits are I can't wait for
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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