Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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