smell my finger.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
