Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
