Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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