the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
