what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize