How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
