It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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