hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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