i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize