What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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