thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
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