it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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