She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
