I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
