You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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