I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize