she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
