Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
