my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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