I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
