Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
