dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
