some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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