Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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